


land that called us ever homewards

by missveils (Missveils)



Series: Inquisitor Dáire Lavellan [15]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, Gen, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, Protective Siblings, Siblings, its an elven song now, no mother giselle in this one, the dawn will come does not exist, veeery minor blackwall/female lavellan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missveils/pseuds/missveils
Summary: She made it as far as the mouth of the valley where the camp was set when her legs gave out and she fell to her knees on the snow. Before her, the forest spread for miles, dark and deep and cold. And the snow kept falling. She would not be able to track anyone like that, not even with help.--In your Heart Shall Burn and the destruction of Haven told from the POV of the Herald's sister =')
Series: Inquisitor Dáire Lavellan [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694902
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	land that called us ever homewards

“Come on, get in the chantry! Now!”

Ellara ran to what was left of Leliana’s camp and looked down upon the village of Haven, trying to see, trying to hear if there were any more survivors among the rubble. The village was razed to the ground. Between the fallen buildings, she could see dozens of bodies, but none moving. No one calling for help. 

Her eyes glazed for a moment and she staggered back. 

“Lady Lavellan?” she heard Blackwall ask. 

Coming back to her senses, she turned around. 

“I’m okay, let’s make sure everyone-”

She looked down at the trail and pool of blood under her feet. The sharp pain on her side that she had not noticed until then, made its presence known. 

And with it, the fact that her whole armour was covered in blood. 

How long since the Red Templar had slashed at her?

Dáire, who was holding the gate with Cullen, looked back at her and his eyes widened. 

“Ella…?”

“I’m okay. Please, please get inside-”

She started to head towards the gates but the ground shifted under her feet. She fell, only to be caught by Blackwall, who lifted her up effortlessly. 

Someone was shouting as he carried her inside the chantry, but the sudden ringing in her ears prevented her from hearing anything. Still, she grasped at Blackwall’s collar with all the strength she could muster and whimpered, over and over: “Please, make sure he’s safe, please.”

-

The words were still escaping her lips when she opened her eyes again. 

Over her, bare tree branches and sheets of snow carried by the wind passed over a sky heavy with clouds. They were not in Haven anymore. 

She was wrapped tightly in several layers of blankets, lying on a cart with three other wounded refugees. The pain in her side was still there, but duller. Or, maybe, she was just too tired to process it. 

Everyone was eerily quiet. She could swear she was still dreaming. 

The cart stopped for a moment, and she caught a glimpse of Solas walking next to it. She fumbled with the blankets and stretched her hand towards him, attempting to sit up. He saw her and held her hand but pushed her back, making her lie down again. 

“Where is-?”

“You need to rest.” His face was more grim than usual. 

“Solas, don’t-”

But she knew she was back asleep. In her dream, she stood in a snowy forest, black trees poking over the white snow, like spears on a battlefield. In front of her, a trail of blood leading back into the mountains. This was a dream, Ellara was sure of it.

But Dáire has taken refuge in her dreams before. 

Following the trail of blood, she ran through the snow. The trees zipped past her, she sank up to her knees, but she kept pressing forward towards a glow at the end of the forest. 

When she finally reached it, she found herself standing in the smoldering ruins of Haven, in front of the chantry. And when she looked down, she realized the blood was hers. And she had followed her own trail back to the village. 

\- 

With a deep gasp, she woke up again. 

This time a tent hung over her head and she felt warmer. Outside it was still gravely quiet. Next to her, Solas’ hand glowed over her wound. Or so she assumed. She refuses to look down and see the state of it. 

She tried to get up but Solas pushed her shoulder gently back onto the cot. 

“It has taken a lot of work to make it stop bleeding. And stop hurting. Don’t undo it.”

“Where is Dáire?”

“At the moment you need to rest. We will discuss-”

He gasped in surprise as her hand found his neck and pressed with all the strength she could manage. Which was not much, given her state and her position. Still, she fixed her eyes on his.

“Where. Is. My. Brother?”

She opened her hand to let him speak. He was still holding her wrist. 

“We do not know.”

“What do you mean?” She made sure to charge every word with danger. To not let them waver as she spoke. 

“He led us on a small charge to give the citizens of Haven a chance to flee through the tunnels under the chantry. Which meant causing an avalanche. Then Corypheus himself attacked, and the dragon. That was the last time we saw him, as he told us to retreat into the tunnels.”

“And you… You let him do this?”

“If it weren’t for him, no one would be alive-”

“Oh, shut up!” 

Pushing her covers aside, she stood up and got on her feet. Her ears rang again, and her vision darkened for a moment, but she managed to reach for the rest of her clothes, her cloak, and her bow. As she did so, between labored breaths she shouted as loud as she could at him:  
  


“Spare me the sympathies! Spare me the heroics! Spare me the ‘we did all we could’! I know you are dying to tell me all that!”

“Ellara!”

When she opened the flap of the tent, there was already a silent and sullen crowd checking on the commotion. Cullen, Leliana and Josephine were among them, and they looked worse than she had ever seen them. Still, she made her way between them.

“Spare me the ‘if it weren’t because of him we would all be dead’!” She turned back to Solas and the people gathered around the tent. “You should all be dead. We should all be dead.”

With that, she turned and stomped her way out of the camp, her boots sinking knee-deep into the snow. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like anyone was following. 

She made it as far as the mouth of the valley where the camp was set when her legs gave out and she fell to her knees on the snow. Before her, the forest spread for miles, dark and deep and cold. And the snow kept falling. She would not be able to track anyone like that, not even with help. 

She did not want to see the forest anymore and she covered her face with her hands. 

And she screamed into them. Over and over, between ragged breaths. 

“He is lost in the forest again, yes. But the last time he came back. And now he is no longer a child.”

Ellara looked up to find Cole crouching next to her. His feet were not sinking into the snow. They hadn’t spoken before, not that she should remember. She had been wary of him after finding out he was a spirit, but her brother had grown rapidly close to him. 

“Is he… Is he alive?”

“I can feel his thoughts through you. But they will only hurt you more.”

“Please, tell me.”

The young man (spirit?) stayed silent for a few seconds. 

“He is scared, and cold, and alone. And thinks he’s going to die. But every time, he stands back up. Every time, he thinks ‘just one more step and then you’ll rest’, but he takes the next step, and the next one, and the next one. He is calling for you but does not blame you. Or anyone. He would like you to believe in him.”

As he spoke, tears came to her eyes and her sobs shook her body. 

“Cole… Can you- Can you tell where he is?”

“If I could I would have told you. I would have guided you there.”

She nodded, and she kept crying. Cole stood there next to her, as the tears froze on her face and her cloak flapped in the wind. 

“Solas is helping him. But he does not want you to know,” he said, finally. 

Ellara rubbed the frost from her face. 

“What?”

“He has sent spirits to search for him. They scout in the dark, take a shape that he will trust, and guide him here.”

“Why doesn’t he want me to know?”

“Because he might fail. And it hurts him to know he’s failed you. It hurts them all. Blackwall feels the worst because he is alive but he could not protect your brother.”

She thought of her words back at the camp. 

“You hurt them. But you are hurt. They understand. They were fearing the moment you would wake, because they could only imagine your pain.”

Her reply died on her lips when she realized he was not there anymore. Behind her, she could hear some steps getting closer and she felt another heavy cloak falling on her shoulders. 

Blackwall came into view, a pile of wood under his arm. Without a word, he dug in the snow in front of her, placed the wood, and lit a campfire. When he was sure the fire was burning steadily, he slumped next to her. 

“If you insist on keeping your watch here, Lady Lavellan, I will make sure you don’t die while doing so. And I will keep you company, unless you’d rather be alone?”

Ellara shook her head.

“Alright.” She could tell he was trying to tell her something, so she kept quiet and let him find the right words. “I am sorry I failed you. I should have tried to get him to come back with us, even if it meant none of us would have survived. I failed to protect the Herald. One word from your lips, Lady Lavellan, and I follow you into the forest to search for him. Even if it means carrying you on my back.”

“Even if it means we would both be dead in a matter of hours in this blizzard?”

“Yes.”

The reply was immediate. Not a second thought. She looked at Blackwall, who was staring into the fire. She followed his gaze and sighed. 

“You should not throw your life away so easily, Blackwall.”

“Neither should you, my Lady.”

They sat in silence, as the wind beat at her cloak and the flames. Her eyes stayed fixed on the forest and the fields of snow. In the distance, she could hear the howling of wolves. In silence, she prayed to Sylaise to help her brother see the glow of the fire, to Mythal so she would guide him home. To Fen’Harel to lead him astray from any dangers. 

And then, between the trees, a soft green light. 

Ellara sat back up, ignoring her numb legs, and stumbled towards the trees. 

“Lady Lavellan?”

A faint green glow, and a flash of white hair. 

“He’s there!”

“I can’t see-”

“I can.”

With the snow up to her knees, she pressed forward. She heard Blackwall shout something back at the camp and then follow after her. 

He was there. He was. Shivering, and barely making his way through the snow, but alive. 

They locked eyes for a moment and he allowed himself to collapse. 

Ellara rushed to him and lifted him up, swinging him over her back.

Blackwall reached them and made sure she got back up on her feet safely.

“You are hurt. Please, let me-”

“No. I can do it, just… Just help me.”

She made her way uphill, with Blackwall’s hand on her back, supporting her when her legs started to give up. Cullen and Leliana met them but she did not let go of Dáire. 

Only when they reached the camp, when she could feel the warmth of the fire, did she let Blackwall pick up her brother and take him to the healers. 

And only then, did she let herself fall to her knees and feel the pain on her side again. The refugees and citizens of Haven flurried around her half-worried, half-reverent.

If they all survived this, someone would retell this with stupidly heroic and Andrastian overtones. 

-

Dáire woke up hours later. Probably to the sound of Leliana, Cullen and Josephine arguing. They had been grating at Ellara’s nerves. Whenever they seemed to stop, one of them would bring up something else and they would go back to shouting at each other. 

“Ella…?” He tried to sit up. 

“You should rest.”

He looked back at the advisors. 

“I don’t think I can.”

“They have been going at it for hours.” She sighed. “We have survived. We have time. I guess some people use this time to turn to blame. They told me what you did at Haven. You managed to give people time to escape.”

“Are you angry?”

“Yes.” 

He flinched at her response. 

“I’m sorry.”

She sighed. 

“I am also very proud of you. And I am relieved to see you alive. Who cares if I’m angry? I certainly don’t.”

Dáire finally managed to sit up, pulling the blanket over his shoulders. Ellara sat down on the cot, next to him, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. They probably felt like two sore bruises right now. 

“We have nowhere to go,” he whispered. “They will want me to guide them. And I don’t even know where we are.” 

“One wishes the shems had hallas to guide us, huh?”

She could feel him smiling. A little bit. 

“Could you sing to me, Ella?”

She nodded. 

And she sang. 

An old travel song. A song they used to sing as children during the long treks through the forest, as the aravels rolled next to them. Half of it in Elven, half of it in Common. 

The song talked about longing for a home you wish to return to, a home that might not exist anymore. But you hope. And you press forward.

As she sang, the camp fell quiet. No one approached them, no one looked at them, but everyone was listening. Sadness, but also hope, reigned in that moment. 

Her eyes met Solas’ and she could not decipher his expression. Pensive? Sad? If he was bothered by yet another Dalish song about holding onto the past, he did not show it. 

When her song ended, he approached them. Behind him, the camp came back to life in quiet murmurs. 

“A word?” he asked Dáire. 

Remembering Cole’s words, Ellara stood with her brother. 

“Hahren.” 

Solas turned to her, almost surprised. She bowed. 

“Thank you.”

With that, she left them without giving him a chance to reply. She headed to her bedroll and, as she laid down, she realised she was still wrapped in Blackwall’s cloak. He would probably not mind if she kept it for a little longer. 

And, for what felt like the first time in a hundred years, she let herself fall back asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> (in my mind the song Ellara sings is [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPlTyTohizo>)
> 
> Dáire Lavellan belongs to @littlegumshoe (on tumblr) and here's some art by them for this fic <3: 
> 
>   
> 
> 
> Bonus:  
> 
> 
> Link: https://littlegumshoe.tumblr.com/post/622024756884094976/doodles-abt-my-gfs-really-cute-fic-about-daire


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